HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ASKED?.....AUGUST 26 2011......

To run a quick errand by the man of the house?  If you have you know what I am talking about.  If not - you don't know how lucky you are!

There was the time I was handed a screw, not a new one, but a beat up bent up old one.  I was asked to "run a quick errand" to Home Depot, or some such place and get some screws.  Period.

So there I go merrily on my way, not knowing this would be an all-day adventure.  Do you know how many screws Home Depot carries?  At least a b-jillion.

I flag down an "associate", tell him what I need, he starts looking.  Do I want a screw for wood, or for metal?  A flat head or round head, or even maybe a square head?  The screw comparison continues and continues, finally he finds one that looks about right.  He asks how many.  I ask how they come.  He tells me they come in small boxes, large boxes, 5# boxes and 10# boxes.  He could probably get me something larger if needed.  I have no idea how many "some screws" are.

And the filters.  The men working in our local NAPA store run and hide whenever they see me coming.  The first one I can find gets the honor of waiting on me. 

I am told we need a new filter for the roto-tiller.  I ask what else I need to know.  Just tell them it is for a Wheelhorse tiller, they will know what you want.

So there I go, merrily on my way.  I ask for the filter.  Tell them it is a Wheelhorse tiller.  Then the fun begins.  What type of engine.  I don't know, it just runs.  There are several different types of engines on the various models of tillers.  Do I have the model number.  Nada.  There are also three different 
types of filters, oil, gas, air.  Which one did I want.  Nada.  Of course the man of the house is at work.  Go home without filter.  Next day go back with necessary information.  Two days for a 10 minute errand.

Same situation with spark plugs.  Do you know how many different kinds of spark plugs there are and how many different types of engines take spark plugs, and how many different types of machinery with all different types of engines that take all different types of spark plugs?

I now try to make sure that I have either: #1 - the item to take with me that needs replaced (even tho it didn't work with the screw) and #2 a complete list of make, model number, engine type, serial number, whatever.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

About the time I have either the item or the list, that particular item has been discontinued, and has been replaced by about 10 other ones, and it is a toss-up as to which one of the replacements will work with the original piece of equipment.  Go figure.

And then there are the belts.  Belts run a lot of things.  Our mowing tractor for one.  On Wednesday evening as I was trying to finish mowing the yard, the mower just quit on me.  The engine was running, the mower blades cutting, but the mower was not moving.  I guess I am not supposed to mow the yard.

The man of the house tows the mower up to the shed, and determines that a belt has either come lose or broken.  Might just as well replace the belt.  Asks me if I want to make a quick trip on Thursday.  I need to go to the John Deere dealership in St. Clairsville to get a new belt.  I ask for the necessary information, am told it will be on the table for me in the morning.  So much for that.

In the morning, table empty. No list.  No list anywhere. No belt to take with me.  The longer it takes to get a new belt, the taller the grass will be, the harder it will be to mow, around and around.

I get smart - phone the dealership, tell them that the man of the house said we needed a new drive belt.  What did they need to know so that I would get the right one.

The very nice gentleman I spoke with told me I needed the type of mower, size of the mowing deck, and Model/serial number.  He told me where to look for each one of these items, then call him back and he would make sure they had a belt in stock before I made the trip there. 

Found the info, call him back, he checked and they had the belt available.  Wow.  I can do this in no time at all, on one trip.  Am  I smart or what?

Man of the house comes home from work, checked the belt and even told me it looked like the right one.  Chalk one up for me.

Later in the evening he came in and told me it wasn't the belt.  Either a pulley or a shaft had broken, he hadn't gotten far enough into the innards to know which.  So I can't even win when I am smart.

Am just waiting for him to tell me to return the belt, and he will probably suggest that I load the tractor onto the truck and take it also.  About that time I think I will wrap the belt around his neck.

Complications seem to be the norm now.  Take a toilet seat for instance.  I just want a new seat, white to go with the rest of the room.  Go to Lowes.  I can get a round one, oblong one, red - blue - pink - yellow - orange - purple - but do they have white?  Of course not.  I could get a clear one with seashells imbedded in it.  Or perhaps wood.

Even the grocery store is a challenge.  Can I get green beans without being a rocket scientist?   Of course not.  There must be at least a dozen different kinds of green beans, you name it you have it, french, regular, salted, salt-free, fancy, plain, whatever.  And baked beans.  Have you ever seen so many different kinds of baked beans.   Even ice cream.  How do you decide. 

It takes me longer to shop for groceries than it does to mow the yard.  Of course I won't be mowing the yard for some time to come.  Maybe I'll actually have my grocery shopping done before I have to hop on a mower.  Provided we have a mower.  I refuse to use a scissors!

Today am going to do my grocery shopping, was asked if I could make a "quick stop at Cabela's" to get a filter for the oil pump. I ask what oil pump.  Am told it is the pump that pumps oil - referring to our deep fryer and pumping the oil out of the fryer back into the container when it has cooled.  It's a good thing I asked, I had no clue what-so-ever as to what oil pump he was referring to. 

Will be interesting to see how that plays out. 

I will be off-line the next couple of days as we leave early tomorrow morning for Cass WV for the weekend.  I really really need a break right about now.

Have a good and safe weekend, and God Bless.