Are You Sure????

          Are you sure you want to shop at WalMart?  We all do.  We have average service, there are long lines sometimes, and other times you breeze right through.  Why do we shop WalMart?  Because it is convenient one stop shopping, the prices and usually reasonable, and the quality is as good as anywhere else.

          I had a phone call last night from a friend who lives in Munhall Pa (a suburb of Pittsburgh) about an hour from where I live.  She just had to share her funny story with me.  I am going to tell it in her words to the best of my ability.  It probably isn't in the proper sequence, etc. etc., but you will get the jist.

          The first thing she said was that my daughter Rebecca really needed to write a book about her experience.  (My daughter Rebecca owns DoubleEdge Press, and is also an author)  Now I will try to tell the story.  It probably won't be as funny as when she told me, but I'll try.

          I needed a few things and decided to go to our local WalMart.  I don't usually go there as it is always so crowded, but went today.  I didn't need a lot, and when it came time to check out, all the check-out lanes that were open had 10-12 people in line, except for one.  There were only 2 in that line, one lady being checked out, and one other lady behind her.  My lucky day?!

          I got in line, number 3, and did notice the line wasn't moving.  Then I noticed that the check-out lady was talking to the customer regarding every single thing she scanned.  I just assumed they new each other and were passing the time of day.

          Finally she left and the lady directly in front of me was checking out.  Again the check-out lady was commenting on her every purchase.  I wasn't close enough to hear what was said, but it sure didn't speed up the line any.  By that time there was another lady behind me.  Guess I'll just wait it out.

          My turn.  Won't be long now.  The first item I had on the counter was a clothes hamper, and the price tag was inside the hamper on the lid.  I assumed she would use the hand-held scanner.  Wrong!.   She held the hamper upside down, the lid was flapping, she was trying to scan and mumbling to herself, and after a few minutes I asked if it wouldn't be easier to use the hand held scanner.

          She gave me this look and informed me that hand held scanners let "aliens" into the brain and that evil scanner would never be used by her.  Finally the hamper was scanned.  Then came the red ink ball-point pens.  She handed them back to me and told me I really didn't want those pens, they were evil.  I handed them back, told her I DID want them, and with much protesting she finally scanned them.  By now I had  been in here almost 20 minutes, had 2 items scanned.

          Next came my warm pajama bottoms as I like WalMart sleep pants.  She asked me what kind of kinky sex act was I going to perform, where was the top, she didn't know if she should scan this item or not, on and on. 

          By that time the lady behind me was able to pick up the order divider and place it on the conveyor belt so she could start unloading her cart.  The check-out lady asked her, not in a nice way, where did she get the divider, to put it back, no one was ever allowed to use those evil things on her watch.  They just caused stuff to fall over them and get mixed up with everyone elses stuff.  The poor lady put it back, and we just looked at each other.

          Finally, finally we were on my last two items.  She picked up the first one and had the nerve to ask which one of us did it belong to, me or the lady behind me.

          My final item was an ink cartridge for my printer.  She took one look, laid it down and told me I DID NOT want that item.  I told her I DID SO WANT  that item.  This went back and forth.  She asked me what it was for, I told her my printer for my computer.  She told me computers were evil and I would be in affected if I bought the ink.  I told her to ring it up.  She told me if she did that then she would have to walk three aisles over to have the plastic container removed from the ink package.  That would take time.  Why didn't I just put it back.  Finally she rang it up, had the package removed from the plastic container, came back (took her all of 8 minutes, I timed her).

          I paid and left before she could say anything else.  This was 45 minutes later.  I also noticed that in the other lines where there had been 8 - 10 people, there were now 8 - 10 new people.  All those lines emptied out while I was still in line.  Needless to say there were no other folks behind me but the poor lady who was told to put the divider bar back.

          She had me laughing so hard we could hardly talk.

          Now for more normal stuff.  We have anywhere from 3 - 30 plus deer in our yard on any given day.  Sometimes all at the same time, other times coming and going. 

          We manage our deer herd.  During the harsh winter months we put out mineral blocks in different areas of the farm, and on the hill outside the house piles of deer feed (corn and grain specifically for the deer) as so much of the time all their normal grazing areas are covered with ice and snow.  We also have several areas on our farm that are designated as sanctuaries, which means absolutely no hunting is allowed in those areas.  They are wooded areas, lots of underbrush, safe places for the deer to hide during hunting season, and good places for them to rest, sheltered from the weather and other predators.

          During hunting season we will have anywhere from 2 - 8 hunters, some family even come from North Carolina for deer season, sometimes family from Arizona.  But our deer are never shot just to be shot.  They are shot for food.  Everyone that hunts on our farm has a list of folks who like deer meat, or food banks that are grateful for the donations.  We never take more deer off of the farm than we have orders to fill.  We average about 30 - 40 deer taken in a season.  That leaves us several hundred deer still in the area, helps prevent over-population which leads to disease and death. 

          We are very careful with our deer herd.  That is one of the reasons we live where we do, our outside dining room wall is all glass, looking out into the back- yard and hillside above.  We see the deer, and turkeys, sometimes as many as 35-40 turkeys.  They like to join the deer in the winter and enjoy the deer feed.  We see coyotes, bob-cats, rabbits, raccoons, possoms, foxes, skunks, ground-hogs, and many many different kinds of birds.  There is never a day goes by that we don't see something, sometimes lots of somethings.

It is snowing again today.  Supposed to warm up and rain, but really cold and windy today.  Glad I don't have to go anywhere.  Am in the middle of making big pot of home-made vegetable soup.

Everyone stay warm and God Bless.