It is cold. It is snowing. The wind is blowing. I know nothing new. Don't even know anything old. Pretty sad state of affairs. So guess I will tell a story. The following is from Volume 2 of IF ONLY I COULD TALK. It is based on a real experience my sister had a few years ago.
DON'T MESS WITH ME!
I AM A CAT! You should be able to see that, but just in case you think I am a Lion, I am not, just a cat. But I'm not any run-of-the-mill cat. Oh, no! I am the BATHROOM POLICE.
And the STAIRCASE POLICE. And sometimes the BEDROOM POLICE. Don't try to get past me, you WILL be sorry.
I have lived with my family for 13 or 14 years. I have lost count. But it has been a long time in cat years. I am sure the lady of the house thinks these are the longest cat years she has ever seen. I think I have a few good years left in me After all, I have a lot of policing to do.
You can go anywhere in the house, but do NOT venture into my territory. On the upper level I have chosen the bathroom as my No 1 territory. The bedroom is No 2 and the staircase No. 3.
I love my bathroom, all the neat, cool places to lie, and play, and sleep. It has lots of nooks and crannies to hide in. I sure get an education in there.
I remember one long weekend when the lady had overnight guests. She should have known better than to assign them MY territory to sleep in. that will never do.
These poor people thought they had it made, with bedroom, a private bath and a beautiful view of the surrounding countryside. I decided I would see that they had a trip they would never forget.
Their suitcases had been deposited in MY bedroom. One was open. Let's see what is in there. Oh, boy, all kinds of neat stuff. It didn't take long for me to pull most of the stuff out and string it all over the bed and on the floor. I sat back and surveyed my handiwork. Then decided to just sneak under the bed and watch. I must have fallen asleep.
I was awakened with the lady guest yelling at the man guest asking him why he had dumped her suitcase all over the room. Poor man, he didn't have a clue. I am laughing and laughing, and then just for icing on the cake as the man is trying to explain he hadn't touched the suitcase I JUMPED out from under the bed, hissing and yowling and screaming at the top of my voice. Last thing I remember is the lady screaming, the man yelling, and the lady of the house running up the stairs to see what had happened.
Boy, was that fun. It made my day. Well, time for another snooze. One of my favorite spots is inside the bathtub behind the shower curtain. What a neat place to sleep. I was lying there peacefully when I heard someone approaching. I sat up just as she pulled back the shower curtain. Of course, I went into my police mode, hissing, screaming and clawing at her. I couldn't reach her, but she didn't know that. More screaming. More running up the stairs.
My lady grabbed me, told me to be quiet, and lugged me downstairs, all the time apologizing to her friend. I actually behaved myself the rest of that day. There was always tomorrow.
The next morning I waited outside the guests' bedroom. When she opened the door heading for the bathroom, I ran past her, got there first, and wouldn't let her in. You guessed it. More screaming, more running, more everything. After that we played the game "who gets there first" every time the guest wanted to go to the bathroom. I must say by the end of her visit, she was running a whole lot faster than in the beginning.
And then there is the staircase caper, as I call it. I love to sit very innocently on one of the steps about half way up. I just sit there, looking important. When one of the guests starts up the steps, I start growling and hissing. They would move to the right, I would move to my left, which was their right, if you get my drift. When they moved left I would move right, hissing and striking all the while.
The lady I live with was fit to be tied, the guests didn't now whether to laugh or cry, and I just sat back and enjoyed the show.
Well, the guests finally left. The lady wasn't real happy with me for a time, but she got over it. She always does. After all, we have been doing this for 13 or 14 years. You would think she would be used to it by now.
I did have to laugh, though, when my lady got a letter from her guests thanking her for her wonderful hospitality. They said it was a vacation they would NEVER forget, and asked her if she thought that Abby the Tabby missed them.
One thing for sure, whenever we have guests they don't get bored, and they really have stories to tell about the Cat that thought she was the Bathroom-Bedroom-Staircase Police Cat.
I hope you have enjoyed Abby's story. I have enjoyed writing it for her. And so, as I watch it snow I will sign off. Stay in if you can, if you have to go out, becareful, and God Bless.
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